The Billings Free Press

Since the Billings Free Press is always willing to publish public service announcements here are some helping hints for those who have a man in your life and you don’t know what to buy him.

Rule 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.

Rule 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. A 50 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ nylon rope. No one knows why.

Rule 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing wide screen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.

Rule 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.

Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.

Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That’s why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas line leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?”

Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners.” Everyone knows why.

Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don’t know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule 11: It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!

If you’re looking for something to do or someplace to go this weekend the good folks at the 5:01 Blog have nice run down of what’s going on in the area this weekend.

One of Zoo Montana’s original Siberian Tigers, TJ, has died.

TJ was having hip surgery and didn’t make it. Even though he has been in South Carolina for five years folks still ask about him. I’m sure his South Carolinian keepers will miss him as much as we do.

R.I.P. TJ

Check out the list and pay your respects.

TV Barn has a great profile of John Bohlinger, Jr., the current head of the house bands for the television shows Nashville Star, on the USA Network, and The Next GAC Star on the Great American Country Network.

Yes, John, Jr. is the youngest son of our Lt. Governor.

Aaron Barnhart is an old friend of the Bohlinger family and has written an engaging and honest profile of a Billings native who is succeeding in something he loves. John has an album in the works but it has yet to be released. If you check out the music section of John’s website you can get a taste of the type of music John writes and performs. Good stuff all. Hopefully, it will be released soon.

Billings Studio Theatre
has opened their 2008-2009 season with Mel Brooks’ The Producers.

The good Dr. Mueller has a nice review of opening night. Check it out.

While looking through the newly issued business licenses I came across what may be one of the best business names I have seen yet.

Wandering Wieners.

I don’t know anything about them yet but I’m wondering if it may be the name of one of the vendors who work downtown with their wiener cart.

Does anyone know for sure?

Looking for a place to rent in Montana? Then check out MTHousingSearch.com and see if you can find what you want. There are over 3,000 listings and they are in English and Spanish so this should make it easier to find a place.

The City Council had a busy night last night working to get the Cabela’s project on track while more money was allocated to the proposed downtown railroad “quiet zone.” Working next to the tracks downtown I can attest to the occasional annoyance of the engine horns but I’m not sure if $1.5 million is the best use of the City’s funds.

Sad news coming from ZooMontana today with the passing of William, one of their Red Pandas.

I feel for the staff who always invest so much of themselves into the animals they take care of. If you have ever lost a pet you know what they must be feeling. Hopefully time will heal all wounds.